Friday, November 26, 2010

These Days...

These days... I have at least a dozen contractions a day. Sometimes they're spread way out, and sometimes they're right on top of each other.

These days... Baby Girl has DROPPED! She's down so low that the nurse often has trouble getting a steady reading of her heartbeat for the NSTs. I have to lie almost flat on my back for her to find it.

These days... The Christmas decorations are up at our house! The shopping is almost done! I'm excited to enter the holiday season with a new life in our house!

These days... Owen feels more and more like himself. He sings songs with us (or rather, he does the motions). He laughs and plays. He crawls around. He's making more vocal sounds. And he's willing to taste food.

These days... Gavin is a clingy, snuggly little guy. He does NOT like us to walk away from him, and has reverted to demanding that I carry him up and down the stairs (he can, and used to, do this perfectly fine on his own a couple of weeks ago). He has so many words! He says "more, peas" (more, please), "ah done" (all done), and his favorite: "no." He pats Owen lovingly on the head, but he also steals his toys. Today he spilled some milk on the floor, walked over and got one of Owen's cloths, and bent down to wipe the carpet. In many ways, he will be our oldest child, and I know he'll be a fantastic brother to Owen.

These days... I don't know what to pray for when it comes to Owen. His surgeries are over; there is not much more that can be done for his heart. Do I pray for a long life? Or a life with minimal pain and procedures, even if it means he leaves us sooner? I get the impression that he won't be able to have both, and as his mommy it sometimes makes me yearn to place him in Jesus' arms to receive His healing and be free of all this. Then I feel guilty for even considering that Heaven may be the best place for him.

So I guess these days, as always, we could really use prayer that God will guide us in the right direction as a family, that He will make it clear what decisions we should make to follow His path. After all, Owen WILL be in Heaven someday. Mark and I have a responsibility to continue to follow God's will so we can get there, too.

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